Interview with Yulia Yakovleva: coach, consultant and psychologist
Would you like to learn how to achieve your goals quickly, identify and work out the attitudes and blocks that prevent you from moving forward, as well as achieve professional and personal goals? In the modern world a separate profession such as “coach” has appeared to help a person find answers to these questions within himself, through continuous cooperation. The coach himself does not give answers, does not teach or instruct, he only helps his client develop some psychological attitudes that will allow him to make the right decisions almost intuitively.
Yulia Yakovleva is a coach, expert, consultant and psychologist, who shared with us all the intricacies of the coach’s work.
1. Why does a modern person need a coach?
When a person has a toothache, he goes to the dentist, who solves his request, or does not go and tries to help himself on his own. A person needs a specialist in his field, someone who knows how this narrow niche works, knows the tools to solve a specific request. The coach is the same specialist, but in his field.
Many people still look at coaches with apprehension because they don’t believe they can benefit; they do not understand how a person who simply asks questions can help. And questions are the main tool of the coach. The important thing is that the coach knows what questions to ask so that the client gets an answer, he helps to set a goal, direct on the path, make a plan and find motivation in order not to go off this path.
2. Who is more likely to use the services of a coach? Are these women or men? And why?
According to my observations it is men, who more often use the services of a coach, and women use the services of a psychologist, since a psychologist is more about emotions, feelings, living in problem situations. The theme of feelings and emotions is closer For women. The psychologist helps to understand why it happened and what to do now to solve the client’s request.
I studied psychology at the beginning of my journey, but over time, I realized that I was more interested in my future than in my past. Coaching doesn’t work with the past. The work of the coach is focused on the actions that the client is doing now in order to achieve a positive result in the future. It is closer to men. They are not interested in why it turned out this way and not otherwise, they want a result without self-chastising. You can come to a psychologist and a coach with the same question and get the result, but you will get a completely different approach to the request. At the same time, a psychologist and a coach are different specialties.
Now the trend is such that women more and more understand the value of not only a psychologist, but also a coach. They understand the difference and let coaching into their lives.
3. What basic requests does the coach help to implement and work out?
The coach helps to realize any request that is completely dependent on the client. If the achievement of the goal does not depend on the client, then there will be no one hundred percent result. For example, if there is a goal “Fly into space”, then there are quite a few factors that the client cannot influence. And if you set the goal to “Prepare for a medical examination to fly into space,” then the goal depends on the client. I said “prepare” and not “undergo” a medical examination, since in the case of “undergo” there is something that the client cannot influence, for example, some physical features or health problems.
If the goal is “To make the man/woman of your dreams fall in love with you”, then the coach is unfortunately powerless, since he is not able to influence the feelings of others. However, the client can influence himself, his lifestyle, work out his beliefs, fears and attract the attention of the man / woman of his dreams. This is where a coach can help.
4. What requests do you get most often?
One of the most private requests that people turn to me as a specialist is relationships: with people, with the outside world, with themselves.
The next request is money. How to earn more? How to move to the next level? How to break through the financial ceiling? Requests related to finances are very often intertwined with the theme of relationships, since everything related to money is directly related to the relationship a person has with himself, with loved ones, with people and the world as a whole. The client comes with the request “How to reach a new level of income?”, and in the process of work he understands that in fact he does not really care about this level, but more worries that in the process of transition he will lose relations with someone close to him people.
That is why I like coaching: by working through only one request, the client comes to awareness, understanding and answers to his other questions. Working with one of the areas of life, the client can ecologically influence his other areas.
5. “From a woman with balls to a dream woman.” What is unique about your working methods?
All the tools, practices that I use helped me to walk this path, the path to the dream woman that I wanted to be for myself. I went through all these transformations on my own and now I know what the client feels in this or that period. This is a huge personal baggage of knowledge that helps me to look at people without judgment.
When a client asks me about the correctness of one or another of his actions, I always ask him a counter-question whether he himself considers it right for himself. And this surprises many, since we were brought up from the position of being “good” for everyone, only the concept of “good” is different for everyone. I do not divide people into good and bad, , right and wrong. Everyone lives the way he wants and he himself is forced to pay for it.
I was both “good” and “bad” for many, but I think that it’s best for me to be myself, to be what I want to be: when I need a “woman with balls”, when I need a “dream woman”. The uniqueness of the method is not in becoming a different person, but in becoming you, real and happy.
6. What advice would you give to a modern woman?
Coaches and psychologists don’t give advice, so as an expert, I can’t do that, but as a woman who has gone through domestic violence, abusive and toxic relationships, i were able to get out of it, build a happy family and make myself happy, I can say: “Everything that is now in your life you created yourself. If you like it – enjoy it, if not – change it. The only person who will make you happy is you! Your happiness should not depend on others. Love, appreciate and respect yourself. If you don’t show others how to do it, they won’t. You are the most valuable thing you have. Don’t lose your value.”
7. How can you be realized in all areas of life and not lose yourself?
A person loses himself when he does not live his life. In order not to lose yourself, you need to determine what is truly important to you and follow in this direction. By this “important” I mean areas of your life and your values. You will never lose yourself if you know who you really are and what values matter to you. In order to realize yourself and stay true to yourself, you can use the life hack that we have been taught since childhood: there is always good and evil in fairy tales, and in order for a good hero to appear, there must be a villain. This is balance. So you need to maintain a balance in your life: a balance of work and leisure, friends and family, travel and staying at home. Thus, you can realize yourself without burning out, while remaining true to yourself.
We thank Yulia Yakovleva for the interview, we wish her development, promotion and scaling.
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